Its just one little word

Over time, its become more and more noticeable how difficult it is for people to admit when they find something hard. Whether its at work, with sport, with friends or family, the message of "its hard" often is communicated by all sorts of other phrases, statements or explanations other than by using this one simple word.

This is particularly noticeable when it comes to sport or races. You see it in blogs, race reports or even just talking to people after a race. You ask a simple question - "How'd you go?" and can get a variety of answers which really all point to the same answer:

- "Yeah, my legs just didn't have it today"
- "I've been focussing on my bike and nothing else so I'm happy with that"
- "I'm just training through so didn't really taper for this"
- "I pushed too hard on the bike and blew up"

Is it so hard to just admit that you found the race tough? That is was hard, the course was really challenging or really windy? Why is this so difficult for us to say? Sport is hard. And the events me and my friends dabble in is definitely hard - long course triathlon and run events. If we all know this, why can't we be honest about it?

I see it at work too. Someone will come over under the guise of "picking my brain" or "bouncing some ideas" off. But really, what they want it some help or guidance with whatever they are working on. But again, rather then simply saying they are unsure what to do with X problem and they are having troubles figuring out the next step, this reality is packaged up behind a variety of corporate jargon.

Is there that much pressure on us to succeed - or rather, to not fail - that we have now come up with ways to avoid disclosing that we even experience hardship, find situations tough, struggle to come up with ideas or solutions or admit that we are a work in progress? And if that is the case, why are we feeling this way? Why is there a need to paint this picture, plaster on this facade, rather then just be honest?

Off the top of my head, I have some ideas:

• certainly in a work environment, I think there is generally less tolerance for mistakes. When cost cutting is rife and redundancies are a-plenty, I see a general reluctance for anyone to admit they do not know something for fear this exposes a weakness as an employee. For a long time I have rued this approach as it succeeds only in staff hiding issues that you (as an employer) would otherwise want uncovered so they can be resolved. 
• if you are a competitive person by nature, I believe you are naturally attracted to competitive sport. By default, this also attracts other likeminded competitive people so suddenly you are in environment which is naturally dominated by competitive personalities which I think fuels a reluctance to admit defeat (a bit like politics really. Even when you're losing you can put a spin on anything). Which is a shame really, because what would be great is to feel like you can safely admit you find something difficult or hard in order to seek support - rather than feel like every race or every session has to have a story painted to it to justify performance.
• guilt. For mums and dads who take time away from family to train, for people who leave work early or sneak in lunchtime sessions to workout rather than catching up on admin or briefings or networking lunches, there are these sacrifices and choices that are made along the way in order to pursue your sport. And sometimes sport doesn't go your way, the PB must wait another day or you just don't feel right.....and you might feel like you need a justification for this rather then simply admitting it was a hard course or you pushed yourself with a stretch goal that was challenging. You feel there has to be something a bit more to justify the guilt that might play on your mind with every session that takes you away from something else. 

I honestly think its a shame we can't see more honesty. I think it would be more encouraging for women and men wanting to get back into sport if they could see that everyone finds it hard, there's no 'easy' races and that its totally ok to admit that and share that with your training family. 

Even better, a bit more honesty might go a long way in helping support those who find sport intimidating or think that they might not ever be able to run a race or finish a triathlon or learn to swim. Trust me, you absolutely can and if you're ready to give it a shot then do it. Take it from me, we all find it hard. But the sense of achievement is one that is highly personal to you and people who support you along the way.  Don't shy away from being honest about it.