Dating 101

A girl I know is 31, single and Jewish. I am learning a lot about Jewish cultural dating practices. Basically, there is one rule - Jewish women must marry a Jewish man.

Now as someone who is fairly relaxed about being strictly aligned to any religion, this rule begged many questions. How could this be? Surely there are exceptions? Doesn't love (even if love comes in a non-Jewish, Anglican form) conquer all?

Apparently not and for so many reasons that I have come to understand and respect. But being a single girl in Melbourne is hard enough; overlay another condition that prospective partners must come pre-set with particular religious tendencies reduces a very small pool of eligible men to a microscopic one.

I am weeeellllll aware of the brutality of dating. I have dated every version of men, sometimes twice (maybe three times.....I'm a slow learner). I've read and re-read the book on charmers, narcissists, extroverts, the over-confident, the under-confident, those with Peter Pan syndrome, those with mother issues, the liars, the fraudsters, the users and the abusers. And after wading my way through that mud swamp for 10 years, I stumbled across a kind Englishman on a bike ride who just wanted to make me happy. So I know the drill. Well.

What I can't fathom is how hard that drill must be when you're swimming around in a petri dish size of choice. My friend laments daily. She's now taken to the Internet to see what the anonymous murky trails of the world wide web have to offer. Frankly who hasn't. But this particular social experiment involves a little website called J-Date.

For the uninitiated, J-Date is a specific Internet dating site for Jewish men and women. Here is what I have learnt about J-Date:

- Older Jewish men seem to think that young Jewish women will give them one if they offer to buy them a car.
- It is completely normal to suggest you pack up your life and move to another country in pursuit of Jewish love.
- J-Date has an OUT OF OFFICE function. For real. So dating is a full time job now? Is your Internet personality in such high demand that you have to manage people's expectations?
- It is acceptable to list your Internet name as "ihaveabigone" while simultaneously yearning for true love in your profile. Apparently most Jewish men have a big one (judging by their profile names).

This just tells me one thing.

It doesn't matter how old they are, where they live or what their religion is.

Men have no idea*

Please, men, some tips:
- Be honest, kind and respectful
- You are never so important that you don't have time to be polite
- Women are lovely. Treat them accordingly
- The path to true love generally doesn't start by reference to your large wiener.
- Brains are full of interesting information and stories. Most women will be excited to tell you about theirs if you ask.

#thewholebookaustralia



*Most men. I fully acknowledge some men are kick ass amazing (looking at you Pauly).